第二十届韩素音青年翻译奖赛参赛译文
中译英
《父爱的尺度》
郑庆祝

The Yardstick of Father’s Love (excerpt)
In 1924, U.S. President John Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933) proposed the Father’s Day a nation-wide festival so as to “establish more intimate relations between fathers and their children and to impress upon fathers the full measure of their obligations". In 1972, President Richard Nixon (1913-1994) officially signed the bill to designate the Father’s Day a festival, which later spread around the world gradually. Today, Chinese townsfolk, who always value parenthood education and emphasize father’s cultivation responsibility, accept the foreign festival imperceptibly.
The Chinese style of nuclear family nursing with only a single child is quite similar as that of running a company of unlimited liability; the parents have to assume unlimited responsibility for the future fate of their children. As the saying says, “If the children are not well-bred, it is the father's fault”. The children’s wisdom and stupidity, gain and loss, and merits and faults are related to education from the father. The father shall not only bear the joint responsibility for raising the children and for their moral education, but also be investigated the “leader’s responsibility” by the society and other family members. Benefit of successful education to a single child cannot be anticipated, but the opportunity cost for failure of the education is one hundred percent. Therefore, the father is the good example—the “yardstick” of the children, which is quite hard to grasp.
Father is also called “Jia Yan”, which is used to refer to one’s own father modestly. The role of father’s love already has its accurate, specific and rational definition from the prospective of Chinese traditional culture, ethical code and custom. “A father should be respectable and a mother should be intimate” means that a father must retain the duly reverence and keep self-esteem so that he can win respect from his family members, and then maintain the dig
nity to be the primary responsibility bearer for conducting family education. “If the king is not honest, his ministers will go to other countries; if a father is not honest, his children will run away from home”, viz. the father should set himself a good example to his children; otherwise, he can neither hold together or cultivate his children, nor fulfill the disciplining responsibility of a father, and may even bring about falling out with his children. A father should be strict, stern and serious, and a mother should be kind, thus, to be strict, stern and serious are necessary characters a father should possess. But some fathers misinterpret “strict, stern and serious” as educating children with sticks, or by beating and scolding. I get some inspiration from Dhyana that the purpose of beating and scolding is for spurring, reminding, giving advice and revealing, and the goal is to facilitate understanding and gain wisdom, while not to squelch, let alone to show the patriarchal power and prestige. Therefore, a competent father values more knowledge than his temper, and cherishes more wisdom than his superiority; he is the first teacher and spiritual guide of his children.
Parents without exception expect their children to become talents, and save no efforts to he
lp their children in this regard. Influenced by the family, indeed, many children succeed their parents’ careers, adding glory to their ancestors and bringing benefits to their offspring, and turning themselves into the same kind of persons as their parents or the persons expected by their parents. But there are still a large number of people do not realize their parents’ dream or do not reach their parents’ expectation, and some of them even fall just the opposite side of their parents’ expectation. As the saying goes, “Like father, like son—a child will follow his/her father’s suit”; “The son of a warrior knows weapons early.” But also as the saying runs, “Good parents do not always have good children.” After all, home education also faces the problem of taking different education measures towards different children, and giving children the freedom of choosing their own career paths, so that they can do a better job by themselves according to their own interests, hobbies and strong points. Like all flowers are not in one garland, every person has his/her own dreams and ambitions. Thus we cannot force others to do things according to our own will, and so do parents to their children.
Western countries emphasize affection, care and encouragement in education, and traditio
nal Chinese education philosophy puts strictness on face, while burying deep love in heart. The Chinese-style “Jia Yan” is an external manifestation between the father and the children—love and affection are its central character, and care is its real intention. As an old Chinese saying goes, “If a father is not affectionate, his son will not be filial”. The father is not kind and responsible, so his children are neither outstanding or excellent, nor filial or attached to their father. But “like a fierce tiger, excessive love from parents may bring suffering to the children,”—the unprincipled praise and encouragement, and the excessive spoil and indulgence may change a child into a mediocre one, who is ignorant, incapable, dawdle, asinine and apathetic, and of no ambition at all; and may also turn a child into an unfilial one, who is overweening, hubris and unruly. Therefore, the yardstick of strictness and loving kindness is hard to tailor—over strictness will suppress individuality, but excessive loving kindness will encourage bad habits.
子不教父之过
“Pathetic are the feelings of all parents under heaven towards their children,”—love from parents is of no reservation, but asking for nothing in return. To be an eligible father is far more than a learning process. As a matter of fact, it is really an austere trial, and a long and
highly difficult comprehensive examination.

父爱的尺度（节选）
1924年，美国总统卡尔文·柯立芝建议把父亲节作为一个全国性的节日，以便“在父亲和子女间建立更亲密的关系，并且使父亲铭记自己应尽的全部责任”。1972年，尼克松总统正式签署了建立父亲节的议案。后来，这一节日逐渐流传到世界各地。如今，历来重视亲子关系、强调父亲教养责任的中国城市人，也潜移默化地接受了这个“洋节”。
以独生子女为养育对象的中国式核心家庭类似无限责任公司，父母对子女的前途命运负无限责任。“子不教，父之过”，子女的贤愚、得失、功过牵连其父。父亲不但要负经济、道德等方面的连带责任，而且要被社会和家庭全方位地追究“领导责任”。对独生子女教育成功的收益不可预期，但教育失败的机会成本却是百分之百。因此，父亲是儿女的标杆——尺度，这个“尺度”的分寸很难把握。
    父亲雅称“家严”，中国传统文化、礼教、风俗已经对父爱角作了准确、详尽、合理的定
位。“父道尊，母道亲”。父亲必须保持应有的尊严，必须自尊，才能获得家庭的尊重，然后才能保持并实施家庭教育第一责任人的尊严。“君不正，臣投外国，父不正，子奔他乡”。就是说，父亲必须以身作则，否则，无法团结教育子女，履行父亲的管教责任，甚至可能导致父子反目、离心离德。严父慈母是父母亲分别担当的固有角，严格、严厉、严肃是父亲的应有风格。但有的父亲把一个“严”字衍化为棍棒教育、打骂教育。我从禅宗教育中得到一些启示，“棒喝”的宗旨是刺激、提醒、指点、点化，目的是开悟增慧，而不是压服，更不是展示家长威风。所以，一个称职的父亲重在见识高低，不在脾气大小，不要高人一等，关键是要高人一筹，做孩子的启蒙老师，做孩子的精神向导。