大话西游（英文话剧）  A Tale of The Journey To The West  Once there was true love for me, but I did not treasure it. Now it’s too late to regret. Nothing in the world can be more painful than that. If only time could go back, if only God could give me one more chance, I would say to the girl: “I love you.” If you dare ask me how long my love will last, my answer will be at least 10,000 years.  孙悟空 Monkey ( M for short ) 白骨精 Jenny White ( J for short )  唐僧 Tang Seng ( T for short ) 黄袍怪 Yellow ( Y for short )  沙僧 Sha Seng ( S for short ) 猪八戒 Piggy ( P for short )  观音 Guan Yin ( G for short ) 小妖 Mini Monster ( A B C D )  Act 1  J 照着镜子上台，后面跟着一个小妖B手捧一盒化装品，如Clean &Clear等  J: Another pimple!  All these lotion and cream and gel are of no use. What can I do?  这时4，电话铃不知趣地响了起来，J不耐烦地从B手中接过听筒，于是，一个更另她心烦的声音就在电话那头响起。  Y: Hello! It’s me.  J: I know it’s you. You’ve been calling me every day since 400 years ago.  Y: And today, I’ll ask the same question again. This is the 99th time I ask you to marry me.
J对这位契而不舍的追求者已厌烦到了极点。  J: To hell with you! I’m busy with my face now. I’ve got one more pimple. How terrible! I’ll  　never see anyone unless I can cure it.  Y: Ah! That’s easy. I just call to tell you that I’ve read a book, and it said the meat of Tang  Seng can make your skin feel as smooth as silk, and make you more beautiful than any other witch in the world. What’s more, I’ve just got the news that Tang Seng will soon come into our territory. We can go and catch him together. Is this
idea wonderful?  J: All right. All right. I’m going to hang off.  不待Y说完，J就没好气地挂断了电话。  J: How nasty he is! ( 她想了想，对B道 ) But Tang Seng is really tempting. I’ll keep tabs on his  track.  B显然理解主人的意思，递过一副望远镜。J便观察起T的行踪来。  J: ( 欢喜万分 ) Ah-ha, there he is!
T师徒四人上台来。S拎着行李，M握着金箍棒在前面探路。  四人走到台中，T示意三个徒弟停下歇息，仿佛有话要说。  J: ( 向B伸手 ) Bring me my Magic Ear.  B递上一纸筒，J便把耳朵凑上去偷听T师徒四人谈话，挥挥手示意B可以下去了。B下。  T: Monkey! I’ve told you a million and once times，that our journey to the western Paradise is  tough and challenging. If it is not, how can people know that we are great and unique; how can we be heroes remembered by others; ( 向台下悄悄说 ) how can we make millions of girls faint for us? So……  T还在得意地发表他的演说，M、S和P都被他说得昏昏欲睡。  P: Sir! I’m so hungry.  T: I know that. I’m hungr
y too. So Monkey, would you please go and buy some food?
英文话剧剧本Remember that we have very little money, only 2 yuan for a week. So you should not go to those expensive restaurants, such as Dining Hall 6 and 2, just go to Dining Hall 1. Even if the dining hall is too far away, don’t buy the take-out. It’s not clean. I advise you to go to some old lady’s house and ask for some 馒头. Mind you, don’t forget to wash your lunch-box first!  M点头答应。  舞台另一头的J
听了不禁眉开眼笑。  J: It’s a good chance.  J迅速地化装成一个老太婆，挎着篮子走到了T师徒的面前。  P: Ah, here comes an old lady. Hello granny! What’s in your basket? Smells nice!  J: Some pancakes for my son. He is working in the field.  P: I’m hungry. Can I have some? Only a little bit.  心急的P伸手去拿篮子里的东西，J假装惊慌地护住了篮子。  T: Piggy! I’ve told you a million and once times, remember to be polite to old ladies.  J: You are very kind. It looks as if you are starving and need some food. I can give you some for  　free.  T: （ 双手合十 ） 阿弥陀佛，善哉善哉。  J假意伸手拿食物递给T，企图乘机抓住T，不想袖中露出一只白皙的少女的手，立刻被M瞧出了破绽。
M: ( 一把抓住了J的手腕 ) It’s not a hand of an ugly old lady. Who are you? An ugly old  lady?  J虽然是妖怪，但四百年来，这还是头一遭被人这么窝囊地抓住手腕，简直是又羞又怒。  J: You……you dare touch my hand!  M: Monster!  T听到Monster一词立刻吓得晕倒在S怀中。  P: Beautiful lady  T听到来着是个美人，忙抬头偷看。  M: No matter how powerful you are, I’ll kill anyone who tries to harm my master.  J: No matter how powerful you are. I’ll kill anyone who prevents me from beautifying myself.  M: Monster! Take my stick!回答人的补充  2009-05-20 13:37
  M举起金箍棒就要向J的头顶击下。就在这千钧一发之际，P忽然扑上去将M拦腰抱住。    P: Beauty, run! Run away!  T 逃过一劫，对各位徒弟尤其是M的拼死保护感动之至，情不自禁地唱起了Only You。其结果，三个土地全头痛欲裂，大吐特吐。    终于，T唱完了。    T: ( 清清嗓子 ) Monkey, go an
d buy the lunch. I’m starving to death.    M: I’ll draw a circle here. ( 边走边画 ) Just stay in the circle and you’ll be safe. Don’t trust anyone. Good bye sir.  M离开后，T等就在圈内打起瞌睡来，P更是鼾声震天。  J见M走了，便又来打T的主意。她走了两步，踩到了M画的圈。  J: Ouch！  J知道M的厉害，不敢轻举妄动。但T近在眼前，她实在不甘心放弃。她想了想，忽地计上心头，变出一盒KFC。  J: Come, come and eat this. Come and eat this.  T等仿佛着了魔似的，梦游般循着KFC的香气向圈子外走。J终于如愿
地把他们引出来了。    就在J的手向T伸去的时候，M赶回来了，再次将J当场抓获。    M: You again!  J: You touch my hand again! How nasty you are!  M: Now you cannot run away!
T 刚刚清醒，想到自己又一次有惊无险，不仅又唱起了Only You。M不堪忍受此歌声，抓着J的手也放松了。J乘机溜走了.    T唱罢，众人终于松了口气。    P忽然发现M正望着J远去的方向发愣，伸手在M的眼前晃了晃，M竟然没有反应。    P: ( 调侃地 ) Ah, that beautiful witch has taken your heart away.    M 回过神来，发现自己的失态，给了P一拳。    T: Monkey, I know that witch is nice, but you can’t fall in love with her. Beacause you are a monkey and she is a witch. Monkey should marry a monkey and witch should marry a wizard. Even if a monkey can marry a witch, I bet there are hundreds of wizards fighting to marry her. How can you defeat them? What is more, chasing girls needs time, energy and money. Now, you have to go to the Western Paradise with me, you don’t have enough ti
me. To make things worse, we have only 2 yuan per week to live on, yoyu don’t have enough money.  M: Surely I won’t. How can I fall in love with a witch who wants to eat my master?  T: That’s fine. I can rest assured. I’m hungry, where is my lunch?
M: Here. Please sit in the shade of the trees over there. I’ll go and fetch some water.          M把T扶到一边，自去取水了.(END)