三顾茅庐剧本
旁白：Introduction
In this presentation, we will outline for you the traditional story of Three Visits to the Cottage. This is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Romance of the Three Kindoms.
ZhuGeliang, a famous military advisor, politician and symbol of wisdom in Chinese history is one of the main characters in the story. Another important character is Liu Bei, who visits ZhuGeliang three times to invite him to become his military strategist. Zhu Geliang is so moved by Liubei' sincere request that he agrees to help the three brothers——Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei establish the Shu Kindom.
Now, we would like to present to you our revised version of this traditional tale!
Scene One 第一幕
This is Zhu Geliang’s cottage. The three brothers will be coming.
屋子中，诸葛亮和猪不亮上场...(Tables in the room)
Zhu Geliang：Eh? This room is so dirty. Bu Liang, Go and clean the room.
Buliang：ok，ok，I will clean the room，I 'll clean it right now！
诸不亮扫地 ···(sweeping the floor)
三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）(three brothers getting on stage)
刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙
Liu Bei: A Cuban cigar is what I look forward to after dinner, it's really satisfying. The best cigar in the world.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）
刘：嗯？没点着
Liu Bei: Eh? It won’t light?
张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟
Zhang Fei: Right, but this is the only one we have left.
Liu Bei: Are you kidding me?
Zhang Fei: Actually I lost them when I went to the toilet, and I tried very hard to get this one out.
Guan Yu: Skip the crap! Let's get down to business! Remember what we're doing here? We must persuade Zhu Geliang to come with us!
张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了
Zhang Fei: You’re right, we desperately need Zhu Geliang, because Cao of Wei Kingdom poses a huge danger to us all.
Zhang Fei: Who will knock on the door?
Liu Bei：Let's do it according to our custom？
Guan Yu：OK.
Zhang Fei：No problem.
刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。(Rock/Scissors/paper, Liu Bei loses)
刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）(Music)
刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。(Doorbell)
Zhu Geliang：Bu Liang, go and see who’s at the door? /open the door.
Bu Liang：OK! Alright!
仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，
保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。
仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好)
Liu Bei：Can you speak any English?
Guan Yu：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak any Chinese?
Zhang Fei：（紧接着）Can you speak any Japanese?
Liu Bei：（紧接着）Spanish?
Guan Yu：（紧接着）Congolese?
Zhang Fei：（紧接着）Egyptian?
Bu Liang：（紧接着）Shut up! Who are you people?
Liu Bei：(摆个pose)I am Liubei.
Guan Yu：(也摆个pose)I am Guanyu.
Zhang Fei：(同样摆个pose，把仆人碰倒了Bu Liang falls down)I am Sorry.
刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。(3 brothers help Bu Liang up)
猪不亮：你们带什么来的啊？
Bu Liangmiss a fei: What have you brought us?
3 brothers: (Embarrassed) Nothing.
Bu Liang: The boss is not home.
三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门
刘备突然明白了
Liu Bei: Oh, money!
张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台(Shrug, get off stage)
Scene Two 第二幕
After the three brothers’ first visit, they returned to Zhu Geliang's cottage.
三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品(3 brothers on stage with gifts)
关羽说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们
Guan Yu: I think we’ll manage to convince him this time.
张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）
Zhang Fei: What? If you hadn't stopped me last time, I would have killed him with my roar!(Roaring)You know how deadly my roar is.
刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了
稍息。。。立正。。。（张飞关羽照做）
Liu Bei: Stop,stop this nonsense! Let's focus on the task at hand. Attention!
刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应）
Liu Bei: You two! Be clever this time!(Guan and Zhang nodding)
屋子中……
（英文歌，诸葛亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌）(In the cottage, Zhu is drinking wine, his servant is singing English songs )
诸葛亮：MY GOD！！上天你为什么这么惩罚我
Zhu Geliang: My God!! Why do you punish me?!
猪不亮：老大别难过，大部分人都过不了四级
Bu Liang: Don’t be so upset, boss. Many people don't pass the TOEFL
诸葛亮：我的烂英语啊，为什么我们要学这门糟糕的语言？(starts to cry)
Zhu Geliang: My poor English! You're killing me. Why do we have to study this awful language?
（换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮去开门）(Doorbell, Bu Liang goes to the door)
猪不亮：谁啊
Bu Liang: Who’s that?
张飞：收电费的
Zhang Fei: I've come to read your electricity meter.
（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）
刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下
Liu Bei: Here we are again, please tell your boss that we need to see him. (gives the gifts to Bu Liang)
（猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了）(Bu Liang catches the gifts)
（屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪）(sad background music)
张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语）
Zhang Fei: I feel so very depressed.
关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）
Guan Yu: Is Mr Zhu Geliang home? We want to have a talk with him, please.
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