■
《国产零零漆》
某女甲：你以为躲起来就不到你了吗？没有用的！像你这样出的男人，无论在什么地方，都像漆黑中的萤火虫一样，那样的鲜明，那样的出众。你那忧郁的眼神，稀疏的胡茬子，神乎其神的刀法，和那杯Dry Martine，都深深地迷住了我。不过，虽然这是这样的出，但是行有行规，无论怎样你要付清昨晚的过夜费呀，叫女人不用给钱吗？
007：我以为凭我们的交情，可以讲点感情，没想到还是一笔买卖。
某女甲：讲感情也要付钱的。
点评：峰回路转，引人发笑。
■肉麻
《白头神探》
（珍尼和弗兰克结婚半年，由于性生活出了问题，不得不医生求助。）
弗兰克：生孩子是责任重大的事，那像在监狱管理厕所一样，我只是有点害怕。
珍尼：今晚我们来点特别的吧，亲爱的，我真的很爱你。
（两人相互凝望，充满深情。）
弗兰克：我的甜心。
珍尼：我的心肝。
弗兰克：我的小甜饼。
珍尼：我的小星星。
弗兰克：我的小狗狗。
医生：（清清嗓子）杜宾先生和夫人，我看你们可以离开了。
点评：他们的深情几乎让人呕吐，看来情话的确只能在私人场合说。
■郁闷
《重庆森林》
梁朝伟独白：
她走了之后，家里很多东西都很伤心，每天晚上我都要安慰他们才能睡觉。
（卫生间里，梁朝伟坐在马桶上对着一块香皂说话。）
“你知不知道你瘦了？”
“以前你胖嘟嘟的，你看你现在”
“都扁了，何苦来的呢，要对自己有信心才行”
（梁继续对一条湿乎乎的毛巾说。）
“我叫你不要哭嘛，你要哭到什么时候？做人要坚强一点嘛，你看看你，窝在这里象什么样子？”
“唉，好好，我来帮你个忙吧。”（把毛巾拧干，挂起来。）
“是不是舒服多了？”
（梁开始对一个小的蓝布老鼠说话。）
“怎么不说话？”
“别生她的气了”
（梁手中换了另外一个巨大的白长毛狗。）
“每个人都有不清醒的时候，给她个机会，好不好？”
（梁对一件衬衣说话。）
“是不是很寂寞啊？”
“才几天嘛？用得着这样？”
“你冷啊？我给你点温暖”
（梁开始熨衣服。）
点评：这是一个排遣孤独郁闷的好办法，胜过把话烂到肚子里。
■夸张
《东京爱情故事》
莉香：如果我在喜马拉雅山顶打电话给你要你来接我呢？
完治：会去接。
莉香：如果要你带热腾腾的黑轮来呢？
完治（比了个大手势）：我会带一大堆。
莉香：如果我要在家里开Beatles的演唱会呢？
完治：我会去请他们来。
莉香：那John（Lennon）呢？
完治：我会替他唱。
莉香：如果我要你施魔法使天空中马上出现彩虹呢？
完治：这个——大概就没办法了。
莉香：那么……就不行了。
完治：不过，我可以施魔法。
莉香：怎么样的？（完治靠了过去，深深的吻了莉香。）
点评：情到深处，即使他说能打破牛顿定律对方也会相信。
■障碍
《卧虎藏龙》
（李慕白抓住俞秀莲的手，深情地看着对方。）
李慕白：你的手冰凉凉地，那些练刀练出来的硬茧，每一次我看见都不敢触摸。秀莲，江湖里卧虎藏龙，人心里何尝不是？我诚心诚意地把青冥剑交出来，却带给我们更多的烦恼。
俞秀莲：压抑只会让感情更强烈。
李慕白：我也阻止不了我的欲望，我想跟你在一起——就像这样坐着，我反而能感觉到一种平静。
（于是，两个人就枯坐着。）
点评：如果李慕白没有功能性障碍，话已经说到这个份上，是不可能枯坐下去的。
<泰坦尼克>号中在船头飞的那段对白 和其他
Rose:Hello Jack. I've changed my mind. They said you might be out here.
Jack:Shhh. Give me your hand. Now close your eyes. Go on, step up. Now hold on to the railing. Keep your eyes closed. Don't peek.
Rose:I'm not.
Jack:Step up on the railing. Hold on, hold on. Keep your eyes closed. Do you trust me?
Rose:I trust you. chexiao
[Jack opens Rose's arms]
Jack:All right. Open your arms!
Rose:I'm flying, Jack!
[Jack starts singing]
Jack:Come, Josephine, my flying machine, going up, she goes up, she goes.
[they kiss]
Jack:Do you love him?
Rose:Pardon me?
Jack:Do you love him?
Rose:Well you're being very rude. You shouldn't be asking me this.
Jack:Well it's a simple question. Do you love the guy or not?
Rose:This is not a suitable conversation
Jack:Why can't you just answer the question?
Rose:This is absurd. I don't know you and you don't know me and we are not having this conversation at all. You are rude and uncouth, and presumptuous, and I am leaving now.
[starts shaking Jack's hand]
Mister Dawson, it's been a pleasure. I've sought you out to thank you, and now I have thanked you
Jack:And even insulted me
Rose:Well you deserved it
Jack:Right
Rose:Right
Jack:[Rose is still shaking his hand] I thought you were leaving
Rose:[turns to leave] I am. You are so annoying
Jack:Ha, ha
Rose:[turns back to Jack] Wait, I don't have to leave, this is my part of the ship. You leave
Jack:Oh ho, ho, well well well, now who's being rude?
Jack:Rose! You're so stupid. Why did you do that, huh? You're so stupid, Rose. Why did you do that? Why?
Rose:You jump, I jump, right?
Jack:Right.
Rose:Oh God! I couldn't go. I couldn't go, Jack.
Jack:It's all right. We'll think of something.
Rose:At least I'm with you.
Jack:We'll think of something.
美国电影<缘分天注定>的两段对白
Jonathan:[Man takes black cashmire gloves] Whoa, whoa, whoa, sir, there are ours.
Customer at Bloomingdale's:Oh, your gloves? Well how come, I mean, they're just sorta hanging there. Sleeping with their little price tag on
Jonathan:We were just discussing them. This
Customer at Bloomingdale's:Well I have news for you, you can go on discussing them long after I've paid for them.
Jonathan:Listen, just calm down, alright. Just calm down.
Customer at Bloomingdale's:[to Sara] It's 5 days before Christmas and I'm in the middle of a New York department store and he's asking me to calm down?
Jonathan:Listen these were meant to be a very special gift for someone.
Sara:Yeah, we've put quite a lot of thought into those.
Customer at Bloomingdale's:Aww, is that right? Well, who were they for?
Jonathan:[says simultaneously with Sara] My girlfriend. Her boyfriend.
Sara:[says simultaneously with Jon] My boyfriend. His girlfriend.
Customer at Bloomingdale's:One pair of gloves for two people?
Jonathan:This is hard to explain.
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