4-5人剧本,短小搞笑
Roles: 太子丹;荆轲;荆轲妻;谋士阿三;莫愁;旁白
旁白(Aside )/介绍(Introduction): Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹(上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状):Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音:It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! (面对观众) I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming. I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~(作杀状)
太子:Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!(二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!这句话要跟观众交流,最好由观众来回答,然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状) Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三:After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子:Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三:Yes.
Action II
(《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐)
荆轲
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荆轲
Of course! 耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状:What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? (赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?)
李莫愁:Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹:(毕恭毕敬)May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着:
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三:Hero,we need your help.
荆柯:I am busy now!
太子丹:You can get a lot of money.
荆柯:I am very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荆柯(流口水):I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only lov
e!
阿三:What? What’s the TCM?
观众甲:TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
荆柯(诚恳状)If you give me a TCM, I will do anything for you.
太子丹与阿三(撞胯,击掌)Yeah!
Action Ш
(《大话西游》主题曲响起)
(太子丹,阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起,荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型,
荆珂:Darling, I love you.
妻子:I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!(《肖申克的救赎》)
荆珂(流泪) :I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你,选自《飘》)
妻子:Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荆珂(欲走还留,执子之手又曰):Sweetheart! You must do me promise me you that you will never no matter no matter promise me now, and never let go of that promise(泰坦尼克号沉船时,Jack对Rose的倾诉).
妻子:"I promise."
刘德华妻子荆轲:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
(荆轲的发音和jack很像,所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。)
荆珂上船,渐渐远去
旁白:Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
The End
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